Checks and Balances

It's always crucial to have points in your training where you measure your general fitness, pace, and endurance. Well, today was one of those days for me. It is National Employee Health and Fitness Day, and my company participated by hosting a 5K for all employees. Naturally, the people who showed up to run are all athletes. Who else would be crazy enough to give up their lunch hour to exercise in the boiling heat? So compensating for that, I knew this would not be an easy run if I wanted to keep up.

Now, I've always considered myself to be a mid-pack runner. It never concerned me that massive, muscle-y hulks always lope pass me. But if the whole pack actually leaves me behind and I'm the lone last runner, then I definitely take an ego hit. Which, unfortunately, is what happened. Today was an exercise in calming my competitive nature. I'm usually content to run against myself and improving my personal record by a minute or two. But when faced with a bunch of sweaty lean runners who literally leave me in the dust, I can't help but beat myself up for my performance even if I tried my best.

This all brings me back to why I run. Running is for me. It's something that I use for my own self-improvement; allotting me enough time to cultivate my own fresh ideas about the world while maintaing my own physical abilities. So why does it bother me if I'm the slowest runner in the race? Because I'm the slowest! Think about it...on the plains of the Serengeti, if you're the last and slowest wildebeest in the herd, you become tonight's dinner for a pride of lions. It's our primitive nature to want to be faster and not dead (literally, in the case of the wildebeest) last. So, who am I to deny my own natural instinct?

I'm using today as a wake up call. For now, I will accept the fact that my pace is slow at the moment. But, herein starts my official speed training. I need to pick up the pace (pun intended). Naturally, the reward is not going to come without a lot of hard work and determination. But, that determination is not going to be fueled by wanting to be faster than the head of the pack. It's stemming from desire to just beat today's personal time by 6 minutes. If I set a goal which is momentarily too out of reach, I'll give up quickly. Baby steps, people...I'll aim for the head of the pack soon enough. But for now, Watch out Self, I'm going to kick your ass.